Friends

You know for years--yes literally years--I didn't have any friends. I had lost them all to a jealous boyfriend. I decided after said boyfriend left me to work on myself. During that time I found that I really don't like many people. . .and that I actually preferred being alone. Then I went back to college and was forced into a friendship. After realizing that there are some people on this earth that I wouldn't mind hanging out with I decided to give other people the benefit of the doubt. I've made several friends at work too. Mind these people aren't as close as my college friends, but I still do consider them friends. Today I was reminded why I hate people and why I shouldn't care about them as much as I do.

Now on the surface, this probably looks like nothing. . .but its the message that was sent that cut me the deepest. Every Thursday night one of our group of four (Girl #1) goes to a local restaurant with another co-worker, and while's she's out she's offered to pick the rest of us something to eat. Today, I asked another member of our quad (Girl #2) if she was going to order, and she said yes. I then told her that when she was going to order to let me know & I would order at the same time. She said 'ok'.

Normally Girl #1 goes to supper around 8pm. Well, its gets to that time and I have yet to be told that Girl #2 were ordering. Its gets to 9pm, the time we go to supper, and still no word. I asked our 4th member (Girl #3) if we're still going at 9 or if we're waiting for Girl #1 to get back from the restaurant. She asked me if I had ordered (she had overheard me asking Girl #2) and I said she never told me that she was ordering. Girl #3 calls Girl #2 and finds out that she had ordered, and that apparently she 'forgot' about me. I'm fuming. . . Here I am with no supper, and totally disrespected.

The hunger was nothing. . .I just grabbed a bag of chips from the vending machine--though this did *not* help the hunger. It's the fact that I meant so little her that she could not even to remember that I would like to order too. I know what you're thinking (ok, maybe not, but I'll have a go at it anyway)--Why didn't I just place my order with Girl #1, why did I need to have Girl #2 tell me she was ordering?? 1) Girl #1 and I are not the closest is our group, and I don't feel comfortable just walking up and saying "here's my order", and 2) I thought it would nice to order together.

Have I blown this out of proportion. . .maybe. I just thought that friends didn't do that kind of stuff to one another. I know I wouldn't have forgotten about her. I guess I'll just stick with my quote from Elizabeth in Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice:

There are few people whom I truely love and still fewer of whom I think well. The more I see of the world, the more I am dissastisfied with it.